My internal struggle with shopping at big box stores.

I'm at my parents' house in the Midwest for the holiday. Yesterday I decided to buy some stuff I needed in New Haven. Where did I go? The first and only place I thought of: Target.

So, I'm ideologically against big box stores -- all of them -- because of their tendency to push down wages in the community and to put local independent stores out of business.

In addition, I worry about the environmental impact one store can have: because they tend to be located on the outskirts of towns, people need to drive farther to get to them, which means they are using more fossil fuels, and the store has to pave a larger tract of land for the parking lot, not to mention the amount of energy it takes to power one store, and the fuel it takes to get all that stuff there, etc. etc. etc....

...But then there's my need to save money and time. Time doesn't really matter here on vacation, but in general I prefer to save time by doing a one-stop shop. Saving money is important right now.

Balancing these issues is what I struggle with every day. I can't justify my shopping at Target (which has just a shade better reputation than Wal-Mart, but is more expensive). But it's just way too easy. What am I to do?

Why do I want to torture myself into continuing this blog?

Because I want to remember what's most valuable to me.

In business school, I spend hours figuring out ways to save companies money -- either millions or even a couple cents per product. While it's not especially fun for me, I know it's a skill that I will need in future jobs.

All I think about all day is money, money, money.

But I want to remember that money is not the important thing. I want to remember that I'm working for the environment, that I should do everything in my power to lessen my environmental footprint, educate others, and work to make environmental organizations more effective and powerful.

I want to remember that that's the reason why I helped start Conscious Consuming.

So what does this have to do with wasting cash? I guess it has to do with not wasting anything, with not being a glutten, and continuing to remember that generosity and selflessness are important.

I'm finding it hard to remember these things these days. Hopefully, if I have a place to write it down, a place where it's public and remind me daily, then I will continue to work on this in my life.

Well, apparently I'm not as good as I want to be with this thing. I'm really sorry.

But, as the old year ends and the new one begins, I promise to be better. Or at least, to try.

For now, check out this person who does a much better job of keeping up with her own life: http://myopenwallet.blogspot.com/

An interesting article by my hero Peter Singer on how much to give away:

What Should a Billionaire Give – and What Should You? - New York Times

My winter break is nearing, and I have lots to say. Stay tuned.